Today is the first day in the last month that I've actually had time to sit down and write. And initially, I actually found it really difficult, which I was quite surprised about. It wasn't as though I had nothing that I wanted to say- as always, much has been occurring- or as though there wasn't a general theme that I wanted to run with. It was just...severe writer's block.
So, I did what any sensible person does when their brain is failing to engage: I went to the gym (happy happy happy place). And whilst in the gym, I had the REVELATION that.....: I had too much that I wanted to say; too many themes that I wanted to go with. I needed to split things up.
And so, welcome to part 1/2 of this month's blog (why am I only writing once a month at the moment, seriously it PAINS me that I can't update this more). I am planning on writing more frequently again. This is the current plan of life. Whether or not I am able to...who knows (but I will discuss this later on).
ANYWAY. Now that I've finished that awfully rambling terrible intro (getting the writey-ness flowing and stuff), let's kick off with all the things that have been going on this month.
You know how in January, everyone makes resolutions, and pretends they're reborn, and life is going to be amazing and whatever, just because it's a new year? New Year for me is not January. New Year for me, is September. New academic year. Best time of the year. So, my theme for this New Year is....(drum roll please) getting out of my comfort zone. I'd lost direction. Totally. One hundred percent. Of course I'd lost direction- my end goal had been blown out of the water. But still, I'd said I was going to do all of these things, and...I wasn't. I was pretty much stuck in a rut. Which- when I saw my tutor over the Summer- was exactly what he said to avoid. So- no time like the present- here's what I did:
Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone Number 1: Return To Education- In A Totally Different Field
So, as I had mentioned, I have gone back to college. College life for me. And it's wonderful. It's really, really fun. I think I'm finding it so fun because I'm actually doing something that I enjoy; this sounds incredibly stupid and obvious but- for me- I don't think I've ever had that experience before. I've always enjoyed learning (if I'm going off point at all here it's because I've got an NNB in my ear- "I hope you're saying nice things about me"- and I am a notoriously bad bad bad multi-tasker), but I wouldn't say that I ever really actively chose anything I studied; it was a passive process. I was pushed.
Course is fitness instructing and personal training (have I mentioned this? Pretty sure I did. Just repeating myself now. Bloody boy, throwing me off track). And it's great. My time is spent in the gym. My lessons are gym. And lessons that aren't gym are anatomy and physiology (which is basically MEDICINE kind of sort of totally not really, but I can pretend), which I find really cool. I get to lift weights. Which is something I never thought I would do. And- even crazier- I'm actually alright at it, which- to look at me- you wouldn't believe. (Even better, 90% of the people on the course hate cardio, so I am Queen Top Cardio Running Goddess which is always my favourite role in life).
Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone Number 2: Take Away Your Safety Blanket (...Cigarette)
Something else happened in September. Something quite significant that I had been saying I was going to do for a while, but never really meant it until it actually happened. I stopped smoking.
I had wanted to stop. I knew I needed to stop. My occasional cheeky cigarette had climbed to the level of "you're a smoker now Bones, stop pretending" and- the big thing for me- I'd got a cough that I just couldn't quite shift. I knew that I needed to stop before next years marathon, but still none of that seemed to be quite enough motivation for me.
Until we had a thing at work where we all decided to quit smoking. Whoever caved in first had to pay the others £25 each and buy them a bottle of wine. Well, I do like a cheeky competition!
It was harder than I thought it was going to be, in all honesty. I do have a fake non-cigarette (which I need- God, I NEED my fake non-cigarette) so I technically still have nicotine. But I don't smoke. And I have no desire to smoke now. The thought makes me feel quite nauseous. Funnily enough, my cough has disappeared. I can run faster. I feel a lot better. And I have been cigarette-free for 23 days. So it's pretty shocking how quickly you can improve.
Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone Number 3: Be A Really Really Really Ill Mess In Front Of Your NNB
Yeah...so... funny thing. Either it was totally coincidental, or a consequence of quitting smoking is that you end up throwing up constantly for like 36 hours. It was really fun (Not fun. Not fun at all. Test of relationship- how do you deal when I am a vomiting mess?) Not the best look for me. NNB was very good Piglet sorter-outer though. Piglet found the whole thing very confusing. Don't really want to relive this one anymore. So moving swiftly on to:
Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone Number 4: Go Pole Dancing
Amazing. So much fun. Seriously, everyone go pole dancing. Unfortunately, I've literally only had time to go to one class so far (more on this in next post) but seriously, so so so good. Really enjoyed it.
Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone Number 5: Get Back On The Trains
Piglet and I went to a wedding at the end of the month, which involved us being solo (as team Mummy Piglet combo) on trains for quite a while.
Journey down was- as always- bearable. The start was actually really fun. I'd missed it, to be perfectly honest. I'd missed it being the two of us, going off on our own, on stupidly long journeys, and being able to be spontaneous... Return journey was- as always- awful.
Return journey, I was actually asked by a policeman if I had support at home. Please bear in mind, that I had been awake since 5am (after going to bed at 2am following work); had to travel halfway across the country with an 18 month old child, and he was entering a situation where she was crying because she did not want to be in the pushchair but was overtired and needed to sleep (this was at 10pm). Apparently, my lack of removing her from the pushchair and instead telling her she needed to sleep was not appropriate parenting in his book.
Policeman looked like he was about 12. Policeman was also a "he". Policeman got my back right up. Took much restraint to be polite to policeman. Much much much restraint.
Nice man at York station who gave me my coffee for free, however ("Seriously, you don't need to pay for the coffee- you look like you could do with it")- he was top top top man.
(Wedding was really beautiful btw. Never wanted to get married before in my life but now I'm basically a half-bridezilla without anyone to marry.)
Of course, normal wonderful perfect Piglet behaviour resumed once we were off trains and back home.
(Oh my god. Revelation. Had a couple of drinks at wedding- but was deffo not drunk. Maybe policeman and coffee man thought I was some kind of raging alcoholic? I wasn't behaving erratically though. Shit. V embarrassing. There you go, Piglet. That's one to laugh at when you're older. "The time Mummy was mistaken for an alcoholic". Bugger. Don't drink people- drinking is bad for you)
Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone Number 6: Stop Being A Fucking Doormat
This one... yeah, I think I'm going to save this one for the next post. I think this is probably a good point to stop. Because there's a lot that I want to say and I don't feel that I'm really going to be able to do it justice tonight.
New me = weight-lifting, fake-cigarette-ing, pole-dancing, vomiting, accidental alcoholic.
...I'm not doing too good so far, am I? See you in 24 hours for part 2!
p.s. Just wanted to give a quick shout-out to KJ; only just seen your message (absolutely made my day!) but I've been a silly busy mess- will reply asap :)